Its all about ‘Shaadi.com’

The ‘little girl’ in me has been very confused lately…On one leash she has a Golden Retriever while the other is being tugged by a Labrador (yes, the crazy canine from ‘Marley and Me’) and she is unable to make up her mind on which one of these pretty pups would be more visually appealing in her family portrait with Mr. Charming and two kids (a girl and a boy to make it ‘perfect’. Come on if this is going to be a fantasy ride I might as well make it perfect!).

The ‘big girl’ has been busy filling her life with more soul satisfying socially engaging projects…

Meanwhile the ‘not so traditional’ Naidu household of mine has embarked upon a new socially appealing, personally embarrassing, traditionally approved project… ‘Indian Arranged Marriage.’

Before you set out to get a hang of this 5000 year old ethnic practice of ‘Indian Arranged Marriage’ system you need to understand two very important terminologies…and if the genius in you could gather enough grey cells to find an atom of fathomable logic in either one of them, I am eagerly waiting to learn.

Marriageable age: a terminology that states that it is not your EQ but DOB which determines whether you are ready for marriage. It has graciously been biased to the female gender…we get to legally become financially and emotionally dependent on the opposite sex comparatively earlier in life. Oh yes we girls get to celebrate our happily ever afters’ by the age of 25 while the men have to wait until they are a good 28 - 32 to experience their first times…XXX.

Horoscope: A prospective bride and groom’s physical and emotional compatibility is based on the score obtained by matching the positions of the nine planets at the time of their birth (or was it ten? Something like that…At this point of time, I am not sure which has been more compromised my belief in astrology or my attention deficit disorder specifically with Grade 5 Science).

It has also been 'anti – traditional' to question an Indian man’s Intellectual ability and hence the aspect of ‘Intellectual Compatibility’ was never integrated into this 5000 year old astro-science.

It doesn’t matter if you are carrying a cholesterol filled Aorta coupled with a half functional kidney and a disintegrating liver due to your over indulgence in pleasures of liquor and life or even a compromised immune system with the only smart virus we humans could borrow from the monkeys…as long as the planets indicate you’re you’re a a perfectly compatable couple with a score of alteast a 7 out of the perfect 10 your EQ, IQ or even your HealthQ doesn’t matter…and I thought a band 7 in IELTS was only meant to assure you of a Residency Visa in Australia.

So how does this ‘Arranged Marriage’ system actually function???

A system where the parents and their parents and their sisters and brothers and their wives and their sisters-in-law and mothers-in-law figure out by this perfectly impeccable logical ‘horoscope’ compatibility test that two individuals who have reached a ‘marriageable age’ actually make a perfect match and would live happily ever after. Phew!

…and I thought marriage was all about love and companionship…wonder my facebook status still reads ‘single’.

Anton Chekhov was perhaps at the peak of his enlightenment when he said, “if you are afraid of loneliness don’t marry.”

So…to all the Cinderellas’ out there… Girl-friends’ are for Love and ‘Golden Retrievers’ are for Companionship as for Marriage…its shaadi.com!!!